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The Lies We Tell Ourselves

by Ashes Of Denial

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1.
Bleed 05:42
I am your hatred, alone in your mind... I will consume you and burn you alive. I am your anger, I'll swallow you whole... I'll make you turn on everyone that you know I will break you down tonight... You don't have the strength to win this fight This cold dark world and this lonely road Has taken you somewhere nobody knows (You find yourself all alone...) No one can see the places we've been. (Nobody knows the end) Nobody knows just where it ends (All we can do is pretend.) I'll find the truth, if it's the end of me (The lies are all I see) I'll find the reason we all bleed But don't you lie to me. I am your conscience, the spark in your mind... I am what sets you apart from their kind I am your will, I am your strength I'll make you rise above, and break all these chains I will break you down tonight... You don't have the strength to win this fight This cold dark world and this lonely road Has taken you somewhere nobody knows (You find yourself all alone...) No one can see the places we've been. (Nobody knows the end) Nobody knows just where it ends (All we can do is pretend.) I'll find the truth, if it's the end of me (The lies are all I see) I'll find the reason we all bleed But don't you lie to me.
2.
You tore my heart out so you could wear it on your sleeve, And paint an ugly picture where all the colors bleed I choked on my own misery, never spoke of it aloud While you painted me red, but who's shaded now? Somewhere along the line in life I forgot to live, I gave it everything I had until I had nothing left to give. So I stood silent through the abuse... But in the end, there was nothing left of you. The pages were wasted with stories and dreams, But the colors are faded where no one can see. I'd take back everything I said.... I'd relive everything I did... But nothing would ever really change, 'Cuz you would always stay the same. I've spent years apologizing, for mistakes I never made I've spent long nights agonizing over memories that won't fade The portraits we all paint from our own point of view Are clouded by our own misery; your own worst enemy was you So I stood silent through the abuse... But in the end, there was nothing left of you. The pages were wasted with stories and dreams, But the colors are faded where no one can see. I'd take back everything I said.... I'd relive everything I did... But nothing would ever really change, 'Cuz you would always stay the same.
3.
I saw you on the ground, beaten and bloody with no one around I picked you up and onto your feet, so you could learn and you could see I sat and wondered how it could be, such a pretty girl with so many dreams Could be brought down and made to bleed, (when) she's got the whole world at her feet You don't always get everything that you see You don't want what you really need No one can help you if you don't believe I should have left you there to bleed. I can't believe a word you say; nobody knows if it's truth or fake I tried to help you when nobody would; burn your own house just to say that you could Bridges all burned down to the ground; no one left as you look around Brought yourself down, so you could bleed....when you had the whole world at your feet You don't always get everything that you see You don't want what you really need No one can help you if you don't believe I should have left you there to bleed.
4.
Letters 05:48
There's no pictures of you left in here I burned them all and I hid my tears I tried so hard just to move on I tried so hard just to be strong I hear you calling my name, but I can't feel you I wrote this letter here for you, but you never even cared I can't stop screaming your name, but you don't feel me I wrote this letter here for you....but it never made it there. Pictures remain and the memories stay, I can't seem to pass them by Every time I try, the past still remains Every time I try to let it go it comes back around again I hear you calling my name, but I can't feel you I wrote this letter here for you, but you never even cared I can't stop screaming your name, but you don't feel me I wrote this letter here for you....but it never made it there. I remember all the whispers and the things we left unsaid I remember all the heartache; now there's nothing left to defend. I remember being broken and lost along the way Now I'm haunted by the fear that it'll never go away. I hear you calling my name, but I can't feel you I wrote this letter here for you, but you never even cared I can't stop screaming your name, but you don't feel me I wrote this letter here for you....but it never made it there.
5.
Never Change 03:57
I can't believe what you say You don't believe in me I'll just go on my way You never wanted this anyway Of all the things you did to me And all the things that you made me believe The only thing that made this work Was the way you fake everything in your world. I'm on my own, and it's better that way I'm looking on to a better day I'll leave you here, nothing left to say Some things never really change anyway Of all the things you did to me And all the things that you made me believe The only thing that made this work Was the way you fake everything in your world. When no one ever sees and no one ever cares And no one ever looks to see who's standing there... When everything is lost, and there's nothing left to gain, The only thing that's left is misery and pain. No one remembers the way it used to be, And no one recalls what it was like to see... There's no one left to see and no one left to care, It's time to erase what was never really there. Of all the things you did to me And all the things that you made me believe The only thing that made this work Was the way you fake everything in your world.
6.
Eyes blurred, head turned and dizzy (What a way to live this life) Words slurred, bridge burned, we're on a roll (It's the same scene every night) Last call, free-fall, we're out of sight (We all know how this ends) Lights out, blacked out, but it's alright (You'll get up and do it again) I watched you burn it all down again All the people you left behind All the pain, all of the time We all watched you fall, but you didn't care You'll die alone, with nobody there. No, you don't have a problem (Everything is oh-so-fine) Put it down, another round, another day (Don't tell you how to live your life) Post your bail, fresh out of jail, but it's okay (This place is gonna make it all okay) This ain't a test, there's no one left, and no one cares (Just made your last mistake) I watched you burn it all down again All the people you left behind All the pain, all of the time We all watched you fall, but you didn't care You'll die alone, with nobody there.
7.
When the storms they roll in my memories The roads I travel, alone I see... Places I've been that set me free, Chain me down, when I begin to sing. Did the words that flow only break my heart, And open wounds that weren't there to start? Do I relive the pain just to get by? Abuse myself just to feel alive... Did I change? Am I still the same? Did I leave this place? Did I just rearrange? Did I believe in nothing, just to pass the time and tear myself down, So I could live under this cloud? Did I change? Did I ever leave this place? As the days go on, and I'm left to bleed There's a light at the end that I can't seem to reach Places I've been that used to set me free Bury me, and I begin to sing. So I pen the words that break my heart, And open the wounds that tear me apart. I endure the pain and try to get by. I kill myself, just to feel alive. Did I change? Am I still the same? Did I leave this place? Did I just rearrange? Did I believe in nothing, just to pass the time and tear myself down, So I could live under this cloud? Did I change? Did I ever leave this place?
8.
I walk along this old dirt road, It's the only one that I've ever known It's taken me so far from home I fought so hard just to get here, and now I'm all alone I wonder if I still bleed? I know there's so much more to me... Was I everything you need? Or did I see only what I wanted to see? Take me away ('Cuz I don't feel this place) I'm the one to blame (For all the tears I waste) But save a piece of me (In case you set me free) Oh, someday we'll finally see (The reasons we still bleed) But don't come hangin' around When this all comes crashing down. The line between the things I've seen and who I am is blurred I can't see beyond these things that I can't describe in words. Did I change too much to blame? Did everything stay the same? I swear that I still bleed; I swear there's more to me. I'm everything I can be; I'm trying so hard to see. Take me away ('Cuz I don't feel this place) I'm the one to blame (For all the tears I waste) But save a piece of me (In case you set me free) Oh, someday we'll finally see (The reasons we still bleed) But don't come hangin' around When this all comes crashing down.
9.
All of these rivers flow into the sea Wash away my mistakes, but I can't let them be. Tear open the wounds from all these years ago, So I can bleed for all the masses, and all these people I don't know... I'm lost in the ocean of my own own misery I hope you're all fuckin' happy with the man I used to be The water's so cold, and I'm all alone.... Nothin' feels like forever like the weight of a sinking stone... The ugly portraits that I paint of all the things I've known They all pale when held against the feelings I ain't shown. All the time I waste out here in the cold Nothin' feels like forever, like the weight of a sinking stone... All of these rivers flow into the sea Wash away my mistakes, but I can't let them be.
10.
Whispers 05:14
The whispers of all that could've been Blur the lines on the page The burdens of all I've ever known Wash all the colors away I can't apologize for who I've tried to be I can't take back all the times that I tried to make you believe I won't ever walk away from the only life I know I'll just hide all the pain; only the words let it show. I'll place all the blame, and I'll take all the shame For the choices that I've made But I'll carry on; it was mine all along Someday all this will change. So I'll sit here alone, nevermind all the cold... And I'll blur the lines on the page. These feelings I know; on my sleeve I let it show And I'll wash all the colors away I can't apologize for who I've tried to be I can't take back all the times I tried to make you believe I could never walk away from the only life I know I'd rather hide all the pain; only the words let it show I'll place all the blame; I'll take all the shame For the choices that I've made I'll carry on; it was mine all along Yea, someday all this will change. Whispers of all that could've been Blur the lines on the page. The burdens of all I've ever known Wash all the colors away I can't apologize for who I've tried to be, I can't take back all the times I tried to make you believe.

about

Debut album from Ashes of Denial. Self-produced and independently released.

credits

released October 14, 2016

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Matthew Brammer in Laramie, WY.

Album photo by Chantelle Brawley. Album art and digital editing by Chantelle Brawley and Matthew Brammer.

All music and lyrics ©2016 Matthew Brammer/Ashes of Denial.

All vocals and instrumentation written and performed by Matthew Brammer.

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Ashes Of Denial Laramie, Wyoming

Hard rock band based in Laramie, WY. Solo/studio project. For fans of Black Label Society, Tantric, Black Stone Cherry, Seether, Shaman's Harvest, Alice in Chains.

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